exploring the og gram

Read time: 2.5 minutes

howdy y’all,

in my quest to better understand the most popular personality tests, i went deep down an enneagram rabbit hole. if you know you know.

it’s very addictive.

originally i thought i would write one newsletter on each type, but the more i’ve learned the more i’ve realized i want to leave this to the experts.

plus there are so many incredible resources that already exist, many of which i share in my picks section.

so instead i’ve decided to write two high level newsletters introducing you to the 9 types of enneagram this week & next.

you will then get to decide how much more you want to learn!

meet the enneagram

enneagram is a “typing” system of the 9 different ways we see the world.

ennea means nine in greek & the enneagram is between 2,000-4,000 years old.

the thing that stands out to me about the enneagram is that type is determined less by what you do & more by WHY you do.

think of it as 9 different lenses that people see the world through.

you can take online quizzes to determine you type, but they’re not always accurate. helpful to really study all the types while reflecting on yourself or work with an expert to get live typed.

at the end of the day, only you can type yourself as its based on your own root motivations more than your behavior.

it’s all about the internal workings that drive your biggest fears & desires.

since we’re about all things friendship here, i’m just going to share a silly meme, the titles, & 3 friendship tips for each type.

type 1 = perfectionist, moralist, reformer, champion of good, & improver

this is the friend most likely to push you to make a plan & follow the rules.

be a better friend by:

• being consistent & staying on task

• speaking words of affirmation to help them turn off their inner critic

• encouraging play & reminding them of how perfect they already are

type 2 = helper, giver, lover, hidden warrior, nurturer, & supportive advisor

likely the mom of the group that is your biggest cheerleader & brings snacks.

be a better friend by:

• giving to them what they give to you (they likely want to receive it too!)

• reminding them how loved they are by speaking their love languages

• encouraging them to process things verbally & speak their needs

type 3 = performer, achiever, motivator, empowerer, & striver

most likely to have the “perfect” morning routine & to push you to set bigger goals for yourself.

be a better friend by:

• loving them for who they are, not what they do or what they have

• helping them combat their imposter syndrome

• encouraging to be real about their hidden feelings & softer side

type 4 = romantic, poet, artist, individualist, & meaning maker

this is the friend you get lost in deep conversations with about the beauty, meaning, & art of being human.

be a better friend by:

• complimenting their special gifts & talents, while avoiding all criticism

• telling them they’re so unique & authentic (and that they’re not flawed)

• holding space for dark feelings, resisting the desire to cheer up or fix

type 5 = investigator, clear seer, thinker, observer, & sound counsel

most likely to be the most informed person with encyclopedic knowledge on niche topics & capable of explaining with no emotional bias.

be a better friend by:

• being straightforward, they’re unlikely to pick up innuendos

• respecting privacy & energy levels, but still showing how much you care

• encouraging them to connect with their emotions & be vulnerable

my picks

remember how i mentioned i went to down a reading rabbit hole? well here are the books i recently read on enneagram:

• the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile: the best selling book on amazon about the enneagram

• the path between us by suzanne stabile: more focused on the interplay between the different types for healthy relationships

• the buddhist enneagram by susan piver: an interesting meshing of buddhism with the enneagram, which is traditionally more christian

• the enneagram made easy by elizabeth wagele & renee baron: highly intro written in the 90s that reads like a comic book

• the honest enneagram by sarajane case: a more modern overview with a nifty framework for personal development by an author that blew up on instagram (she also released the enneagram letters which is poetry written to each type & truly beautiful)

if you enjoyed the memes included today, you’ll enjoy these accounts:

• sarajanecase (author mentioned above)

• enneagramwithabbey (also on tiktok)

• rudeassenneagram

• enneagramandmemes (sadly no new posts since dec 2022)

and finally if you’re eager to take a quiz, these are the most recommended, though proceed with caution as they aren’t perfect:

• truity (free w/ option to upgrade for more details)

• eclectic energies (two free options)

• enneagram institute (costs $12)

all together now

we can’t wrap this up without going through the remaining 4 types.

so comeback next week to learn about 6-9, to find out my type, & to get a special surprise treat to go deeper on your enneagram journey.

be merry,

p.s. whenever you need help, i’m always here for you from custom cards to corporate workshops to our merry membership. i want to make you merry!