gimme gimme gimme gifts

Read time: 3 minutes

good morning good looking,

we’ve made it to the final love language!

hopefully you’ve already put into practice the tips shared in prior weeks on quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, & acts of service.

today’s we’re diving into the love language you feel whenever your day is brightened by a well-timed surprise coffee or a the fuzzies from a friend giving you a thoughtful travel souvenir.

receiving gifts.

and no, it’s not just about unboxing brand new gadgets or splurging on extravagant presents.

it’s about how much you know someone & how you visually show your love.

gift receivers core truth is

love comes in a box

less about materialism and more about thoughtfulism [which btw should totally be a word.]

gift receivers find meaning in your meaningful gifts.

the thought REALLY counts here.

receiving gifts is the least loved love language at #5 ranking first for only 7% of americans.

preferred language for 7% of males & 6% of females.

splitting the data by age shows that gifts mean more when we are younger. the older we get, the less we love gifts.

which makes sense.

gifts are a bigger deal when we are younger because we may not have the capacity to get ourselves what we want.

then splitting the data by US census region shows a higher preference for gifts in the south & the west. random trend that i can’t immediately theorize on.

what i can theorize on is why this love language is so much lower ranked than the others.

receiving gifts is massively misunderstood. 

a part of the issue is a misconception of what constitutes a gift.

it’s not always about material things. can be an experience too.

it’s not always about extravagance. can be emotional value too.

i think more people like receiving gifts than they’ll admit because they don’t want to be considered materialistic or shallow.

subtle easy tells that someone loves receiving gifts are:

• giving you gifts just cause

• obsession with etsy & pinterest

• note in phone with running wishlist

• talking about & keeping special gifts

• celebrating every real (& fake) holiday

• love for memory trinkets & restaurant matches

our game plan for our friends love to receive gifts is to TOSS something their way:

• thoughtful - be observant to their likes, dislikes, & not-so-subtle hints on what they want. show you’re paying attention to them.

• occasions - celebrate all holidays, anniversaries, successes, & failures.

• small trinkets - size doesn’t matter here. thought matters more. & handmade items often mean the most.

• surprises - a just because gift will light them up & make their month! odds are high they they will cherish the random keepsake for forever.

for our receiving gifts friends, the key is to customize for THEM.

show you really know them — their passions, their dreams, & of course, their coffee order.

showing you care to someone that loves receiving gifts is more straightforward than the other love languages. simple ways to shower them with love:

• pick up a travel souvenir

• hand make something

• send a favorite treat

• surprise food delivery

• bring flowers

• personalize an item

pro tip for these people is to always include a card with your gift. write to explain the significance or symbolism of your gift.

gifts are external signals of internal feelings.

gifting is an emotional language that when spoken correctly can bring so much joy & connection.

#treatyoself may be the slightly outdated anthem of millennials, but will always be the true motto of the receiving gifts love language as self-care.

pamper yourself & celebrate your accomplishments.

this self-care love language looks like sparking joy by:

• investing in self-improvement, courses, etc.

• surprising yourself with a mystery box

• indulging in a subscription

• scheduling “me” time

• saving for dream

• getting dessert

• making a wishlist

• adding that sugar to your coffee

you’re your longest commitment so spoil yourself with love.

i can’t find any books on gifting, so here are a 4 articles & 1 video:

• how to give great gifts: what science teaches us (wall street journal)

• 6 ways to give better gifts — based on science (time)

• how to become a truly excellent gift giver (vox)

• how to give a great gift (new york times)

• the rules of gifting (youtube van neistat)

checkout this gift guide for the love language of receiving gifts. think handmade, collections, & subscriptions.

the above gift guide completes my gift guide collection for all 5 love languages:

i’ll be working to build out these & more gift guides over the coming weeks as the holidays will be here before we know it.

21 days til labor day.
78 days til halloween.
101 days til thanksgiving.

scary i know.

please reply with any requests on future guides & any thoughts on the best platform to share. leaning towards notion, but open to suggestions.

and if you hate the current love language terms, i translated them for gen z.

you’re a gift, truly!

p.s. whenever you need help, i’m always here for you from custom cards to corporate workshops to our merry membership. i got you, friend!

p.p.s. if you’re in the market for a newsletter platform, i highly recommend beehiiv. i honestly believe the platform is a big reason why i love writing this newsletter so much every week. so hit me up with any & all questions.