let's get physical

Read time: 3 minutes

rise & shine friend,

we’re back in session with the first love language you ever felt. you learned it before you could walk or talk or even see.

a language you can’t speak.

physical touch.

a language often misunderstood to be romantic only. but powerful in friendships too.

today we’re getting & gifting touchy-feely.

physical touchers (pt’s for short) core truth is

touched by touch

for pt’s proximity IS enough. they want you as close as possible. they’re touched by your touch.

being in their personal space is personal in the most comforting ways.

and social distancing during COVID was their worst nightmare come true.

in a prior newsletter, we saw that physical touch is the #2 love language of americans at 24%.

it’s the preferred language for 33% of males & 16% of females. so men are twice as likely to prefer physical touch.

splitting the data by age shows a higher preference by ages 30-64.

splitting the data by US census region shows no preference, which i was frankly surprised by. given i find certain areas of the country to be much more touchy feely than others.

before diving in more to the how, i want to acknowledge the importance of consent for this love language. always seek to understand & respect everyone’s personal boundaries. comfort levels and comfort spots vary significantly.

so always ask & don’t assume.

with that in mind, a person that loves physical touch is very likely to physically touch you. making pt’s a pretty easy target, look for:

• high fives & fist bumps

• lots of & long hugs

• arm & shoulder squeezes

• comforting back pats

• sitting & standing close

• love for tactile, comforting objects

• the desire to pet every dog

best practices for pt is to COP, think COP a feel, but in a nonsexual way:

• comforting caresses: physically be there for them, especially during times of stress. be a shoulder to cry on. a hand to hold.

• open body language: nonverbally show up for them with positivity & receptiveness. avoid crossing arms or turning your body away.

• proximity: just be within an arms reach, they love the option to be able to touch you whenever they want.

ways to show you care to a physical toucher:

• let them decide when to end a hug

• give a warm handshake

• apply their sunblock

• give shoulder rubs

• adjust their clothes

• play with their hair

• sit & stand close

• under table footsie or knee taps

• mirror & reciprocate how they touch you :)

humans are social animals & we use physical touch to communicate a variety of emotions. touch reassures, comforts, & gives a sense of belonging.

without words, this love language speaks straight to our hearts.

embrace physical touch by embracing your friends in hugs. a 20 second hug is proven to reduce stress & boost levels of oxytocin, the feel good hormone.

and when words are inadequate for a situation, look to this language.

while it may seem counterintuitive, physical touch can be a self love language too. it’s deeper connection to your own body. slowing down to take care care of your body and show yourself some much-deserved affection.

physical touch as self-care looks like:

• stretching

• bubble baths

• reading in bed

• hugging yourself

• skincare routines

• cuddling your pet

• comfy clothes & bedding

because the best person to touch your life is YOU.

in researching books about touch, there were surprisingly few on nonsexual touch. so instead i’m sharing touch adjacent books on accessing personal power with confidence, high fives, hygge, & body language:

• presence by amy cuddy

• high five habit by mel robbins

• the little book of hygge by meik wiking

• read people like a book by patrick king

and to help you find touching gifts, i made you a gift guide for physical touch too featuring the 3 C’s — care, cozy, & classes

entering my barbie era along with the rest world with new hot pink glitter cards., featuring a variety of sayings and designs 💗

join in the barbie buzz with my barbiecore card designs

sending you virtual hugs,

p.s. whenever you need help, i’m always here for you from custom cards to corporate workshops to our merry membership. i got you, friend!