finding friends 101

Read time: 2.5 minutes

hello good morning you,

back with a fresh makeover, more merry math on friendships, & an etsy update.

first up, friendship.

friendship feels spontaneous & organic, yet there are many underlying patterns to our friendship. as a quick recap, in prior weeks we learned that.

• time is the secret to friendship: 50 hrs to casual friend, 90 hrs to friend, & 200 hrs to bestie

• we can maintain 150 meaningful friendships at any given time, with 15 close friends including 5 besties

• but only 13% of americans have more than 10 friends and a mere 60% of americans have a bestie — a decrease of 15 percentage points from 1990

this week we’re looking at where we find friends.

turns out, the most common birthplaces of friendship aren't as random as we may think.

participants in the american perspectives survey from may 2021, revealed their friend sources:

• place-based friends (69%): people we cross paths with at work, school, gym, park, or the neighborhood.

• childhood friends (67%): bonds formed in the sandbox that continue to withstand the sands of time.

• activity-based friends (51%): buddies from shared activities like sports, hobbies, or volunteering.

• online-only friends (39%): strangers from the internet that we interact with regularly, but don't know their height.

these statistics show that the context in which we operate — our environment, our routines, and our shared experiences — significantly influence our social connections. while meet-cute friend stories are heartwarming, most of our friendships come from the fabric of our everyday lives.

in short, places prime us for friendship.

this pattern is even more evident among college-educated americans, with friends way more commonly found at work and school:

• 62% at work: shared jobs, no surprise given how we learned that we spend 250% more time with our coworkers than friends

• 60% at school: shared education, free time gave us friend time

• 38% through other friends: friends of friends often become our friends

• 29% in neighborhood: shared spots, especially true during COVID

• 24% clubs & organizations: shared passions

• 20% religion: shared faith

• 10% child’s school: shared schedule for kid activities

the moral of the story? friendships can be found anywhere and everywhere.

so, whether you're working your 9-to-5, pumping iron at the gym, or sipping on a cereal milk cold brew, remember - a potential friend is likely right next to you.

i’m really fond of the notion of treating strangers like friends.

after all, any stranger could become your friend & now we know too that 50% of americans want more friends. stranger danger is so 2020.

way too many of us waste time worrying if someone will like us rather than investing that same time in getting to know someone.

this week i challenge you to reach out to a new or potential friend.

that coworker you always enjoy talking to in passing and want to know more about. that friend of a friend you always see around. that barista at the coffee shop always reading interesting books. that fellow dog parents that’s so kind to your pup. or maybe just that person you’ve been trying to schedule coffee with for weeks.

send this message to as many people as you like.

i promise you have nothing to lose from doing this and so much more to gain.

pro tip: if you’re in texas, i suggest going to merit & getting the cereal milk cold brew. it’s truly divine.

proud to announce that i officially launched on etsy as merrymakingmack! go checkout it & better yet give me a follow 💛

offering is the same as shopify. see this as on opportunity to find more merrymakers for our community.